Comments on: Can someone look at my story? http://www.d-r-a-g.org/river-system-facts/can-someone-look-at-my-story/ Sat, 19 May 2012 12:08:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: lea b http://www.d-r-a-g.org/river-system-facts/can-someone-look-at-my-story/#comment-3468 lea b Thu, 25 Feb 2010 13:38:59 +0000 http://www.d-r-a-g.org/river-system-facts/can-someone-look-at-my-story#comment-3468 You did a very good job. Kudos I've only found 2 things and one questionable Questionable...8th line "Only the.... I just don't like this sentence. It seem a bit run-on with to many topics in one sentence. forgotten word..."I must be the person to come next." the word "be" is missing change word..."Seeing them compete where I could...." Change "could" to "should". She really thought she SHOULD have been standing up there.<br><b>References : </b><br> You did a very good job. Kudos
I’ve only found 2 things and one questionable

Questionable…8th line "Only the…. I just don’t like this sentence.
It seem a bit run-on with to many topics in one sentence.

forgotten word…"I must be the person to come next." the word "be" is missing

change word…"Seeing them compete where I could…." Change "could" to "should". She really thought she SHOULD have been standing up there.
References :

]]> By: Femme Fatale http://www.d-r-a-g.org/river-system-facts/can-someone-look-at-my-story/#comment-3467 Femme Fatale Thu, 25 Feb 2010 13:05:59 +0000 http://www.d-r-a-g.org/river-system-facts/can-someone-look-at-my-story#comment-3467 nice very detailed.. <br><b>References : </b><br> nice very detailed..
References :

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